Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
