Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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