At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
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Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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