We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
