Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
His nipple licking is glorious
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