I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
