it hurts more in the daytime
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
