I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
