Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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