dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
