is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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