R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize