i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She bit a glass in half.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
