in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
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I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
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This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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