If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
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You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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