Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
