You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
