You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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