Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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