..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
