whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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