You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
