we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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