oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
