Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
