boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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