my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There's even glitter on my cock...
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