omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
