You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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