i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
