..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
