I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
