I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
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making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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