There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
