i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I am naked and annoyed.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
