I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
