wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
