Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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