another moral hangover. fuck.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
