whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
