Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
