All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
