Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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