Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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