Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
