As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
