i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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