i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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