I'm gonna have a badass scar
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
