My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
