yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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