We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
