i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
