Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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