Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize