nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We're too hungover to prance.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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