i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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