She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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