I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
