Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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