so that wasnt chicken after all
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
