Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
